Category: Social Issues

The “Anger” of the Black Woman Comes From Her Strength

I can never know what it is like to be a white woman, (because I’m not one) but I can say I can relate to majority of their experiences. However I don’t think white women can relate to the experiences of black women.

They can’t relate to the fact that in addition to seeing whether I’m the only woman in a room, I first and foremost check if I’m the only black person in the room.

They can’t relate to the fact in addition to worrying about whether my opinion as a woman would be taken in consideration in the room, I worry about being perceived as angry for expressing it. It pains me but this is a very too real experience that happens way too often. It pains me that when another white strong woman voices her opinion, it’s seen as “yea you go Kate” but when a black woman does it, it’s “oh what’s wrong now, what is there to complain about now”. 1. A lot. 2.This continuously happens (I have even observed it happen with other minorities as well) that when voicing for change it is perceived as anger. Our opinions are encouraged, but are silenced because of the false perception of anger by others.

They can’t relate to the fact that when in power, in addition to our position being questioned as women, people question whether we are deserving (or undeserving) because of our skin color.

They can’t relate because in addition to tackling the stereotype of women being emotional, we are not allowed to be anything else but strong. “Because black women are strong, Adjoa, we have to be, if we are weak for one second, that is all they will see”. We are expected to do better, be the better person, because they expect us to do the contrary, they expect us to fail, and we cannot give them that satisfaction, we have to show them that we are worthy.

They can’t relate because in addition to hash tagging #metoo, we are screaming #handsupdontshoot. We fight for our black brothers. I’ve seen various accounts of black women protesting, urging to stop the killings of innocent black men, protecting black men. Same with the #metoo movement (or feminism), we lend our support (as we should as women) to a movement that mostly, however, translates into benefits for white cis-women and fails to include us. For example, the history of feminism is a prime example of how black women supported a movement that was supposed to uplift all women but that largely failed to include their needs until recently (third wave feminism- and such is even arguable).

It is unbelievably toxic that society carries such opinions and behaviors against black women. We are expected to be strong, voices for justice and equality. But yet we are never uplifted, protected or cherished. Even so we are and continue to be a graceful, strong-willed, unwavering force of nature. And that’s on that.

Book of the month: still reading Les Miserables; so Book Recommendation: “Small Great Things” by Jodi Piccoult

Article to read: “Every 3 hours a woman is murdered in South Africa” by Ashraf Hendricks Al Jazeera  #AmINext https://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/inpictures/3-hours-woman-murdered-south-africa-190905103533183.html 

The White Victim.

Please note: this post is reflective of mine and the experiences of other people of color in our current environment. Not meant to generalize everyone but it’s a very real issue that we are faced with constantly.

I had to learn to advocate for myself from a young age. It’s due to my circumstances growing up and learning that I didn’t have allies everywhere I went. That as a young black woman, I would be put into situations where I would have to be brave and vocal, otherwise I would not be listened to or respected.

I have come to understand that not everyone has been raised like that or understands why black women take actions for ourselves, rather than wait around to be rescued. Because even when we need someone by our side, that is not granted to us, at least not in the same way it is granted to our white companions.

I realized to the extent of how white privilege is real and can affect my reputation even with people that I have known for a while. In the face of issues, we are never given the benefit of the doubt. We are in the wrong because we responded, but the person is never wrong for initiating the situation.

In the face of disagreements, which are natural to occur between people, when a black person stands up for themselves and is vocal, they are seen as threatening, no matter what. We are expected to listen and abide, but never respond because our voices are too loud and too intimidating. We are expected to listen and abide but never have an opinion of our own because it’s just not true, our feelings cannot be the truth because the other person feels differently and theirs is valid. We are expected to listen and abide, but never show any emotion because we are supposed to know it’s going to be seen as nothing but anger, and you don’t want to be the angry black girl.

But damn I am angry. I’m angry that in every situation where we get provoked, challenged by a white person and decide to voice our opinion it’s seen as threatening, “too much” and we are the ones who are, at the end in a way be, reprimanded. We are the ones who have to be removed, who have to take the first step to fix the situation, we are the ones asked to apologize. I’m angry that I see multiple people of color around me going through the same thing. I’m angry this is the kind of thing I will have to deal with my whole life. I’m angry that white people are quick to call the police or what can be seen as a higher figure when things don’t go their away and they presume our rights and freedom as an attack to their space.

I’m not saying that we are always right, that’s not the case. However, I do want to encourage white counterparts, in the face of disagreements and complaints, to listen and value the other party in the same way as they do for white people; and that before moving forward to deeply consider if you are fair in your solution so that the other doesn’t find themselves being the only one making amends. I would also say that before going ahead and involving other people (or calling the cops and becoming “Permit Patty” kind of person) to think if you have tried talking to other people, and whether the actions of the other person are truly a threat to your space.  The question of whether your “fear or discomfort” is based on your bias.

Reproductive Justice for All

I haven’t had health insurance for over two years now, however living in a first world country I am aware that worse come for worse I can find the adequate resources to address my reproductive health. That is not possible for many women around the globe. In many developing countries there is a severe lack of resources dedicated to health care, particularly reproductive health. Twenty years ago my mother gave birth to me on blanket on a floor in one of the most stable hospitals in our homeland Ghana. Twenty years later there is still an enormous lack of resources in developing countries and the situation is not improving for women around the globe. Policies imposed by the United States has impact on the lives of thousands of marginalized communities worldwide.

The Trump Administration has extended the Global GAG Rule (AKA Mexico City Policy) towards all global health. This policy prohibits all institutions abroad receiving US funds from mentioning, discussing, referring to abortions in any means, otherwise they will lose their funding. Due to this unethical principle many health organizations, such as Family Health Options in Kenya, are losing funding used not only to address family planning and reproductive health but also to support other health services (child nutrition, vaccinations, educational health programs, and others).

For clarification the US has never funded abortions anywhere, therefore the Global GAG rule actually hurts healthcare services and women’s access to health in many various ways that make one understand that this is more an attack to eradicate women’s empowerment and rights. As  one of the attendees at the Population Connection Action Fund conference stated, the United States is a global forefront for freedom of speech and by imposing this rule it limits freedom of speech in health facilities and impedes doctors from informing and giving patients the best options (whether including abortion or not) available to them.

The Trump Administration has made it its’ personal goal to eradicate the development of reproductive health and rights globally. Domestically these bullshit policies would not be supported, therefore the administration is attacking women’s health in developing countries by cutting funding from programs supporting family planning services.

Using ridiculous reasoning, and absolutely fake news, the US has withdrawn funding from the UNFPA (United Nations Population Fund) which is an organization that works in Member States of the UN to provide health services to sustain women’s health care. UNFPA does not administer abortions, and mainly aims to provide resources and services to ensure that “every pregnancy is wanted, every birth is safe, every young person is free of HIV/AIDs, and every girl and woman is treated equally.” The mission of UNFPA and that of many family planning organizations is to promote reproductive health and rights for all,  which is a basic human right that all individuals have. The US defunding such programs is not only promoting unwanted pregnancies, unsafe abortions as well as STDs but is also in violation of basic human rights.

I urge you all to please stand with me, stand with Population Connection Action Fund, UNFPA, other health organizations and women across the globe to fight for human & reproductive health rights, fight for health empowerment and rights, to fight for HER.

Spread this message through your social media, and educate yourself on reproductive freedom and rights, and contact your representatives to support the Global HER Act (bill proposed opposing the Global GAG Rule). Text FIGHT to 52886 to learn more.

“Is That Your Real Hair?”

The other day my friend and I were standing in Walmart, talking, waiting for our uber to arrive and a caucasian lady walked up to her touched her braids and asked her whether that was her real hair. During the conversation, she continued to pet her hair, then complimented it and walked away.

I asked my friend: could you imagine walking up to a white girl, petting her hair and asking whether her hair was real? At that point we just looked at each other and laughed. Because no, we could never imagine doing that, but these incidents occur regularly in our lives.

Why?

Well there’s uneducated ignorance where others do not know much about black culture due to various reasons that are both within and outside their control. First stereotypes play a huge role in these instances. “All black girls wear weave.” Correction: everyone regardless of background wears weave, as we can see with our lovely Kardashian family. And here’s a secret: extensions are a just a fancier term for weave.

People choose to believe these stereotypes and proceed to making assumptions which leads to accidents where instead of one just complimenting the hair, proceed to ask whether the hair is real or not.

It is understandable that there is a difficulty in knowing because Hair is a big part of black culture and there are different hairstyles that have a very deep cultural significance and are part of the identity as a black girl. Culture is not the only factor that goes into wearing braids, cornrows, twists etc.., it is affected also by weather, habits, and the way our hair is naturally built.

Whether the hair is real or not, hair is part of how we express ourself, our emotions, our feelings. Personally I have the habit of changing my hair frequently because the way I wear my hair is affected by the way I’m feeling. There are periods when I’m feeling my afro and I rock that, days where I feel like having long lucious bouncy hair so I rock my weave, and I do get moods where I really want to wear braids so I do. The way we choose to wear our hair is affected by culture, habits, seasons, and how significant they are to us.

The way we wear our hair also aims to defy social norms, where people in general view black hair as non professional, not beautiful, and  exotic but not right. Day by day black women have been conquering those negative social views surrounding black hair, especially with the intention of inspiring younger generations to believe that their hair is beautiful too! I can see that with my younger sister, where while my experience as young black girl was to shy away from my hair and my braids, through my learning, appreciation and pride in black hair and culture, she has this immense confidence and love for her hair, natural or not.

Our hair is beautiful, it is a part of our culture, our identity. It is a great thing that other cultures can love and learn about too. But it is important to understand that there is a right way to show appreciation and to ask questions when it comes to learning about black or any other culture. Making assumptions, stereotypes, and appropriating our culture are not the right ways. And most importantly, do not touch our hair.