Not Defined By Others

In the last few months I’ve been learning how to be emotionally independent.

What I mean by that is not just being in touch or more in sync with my emotions but also not allowing what other people do or say control how I feel, especially about myself.

What people do can lead you to feel some type of way however I recognized that sometimes I would let that dictate the way I felt about myself and allowed it to invade my entire day and life. I’m learning not to anymore.

Just because someone does not appreciate me or love me the way I want them to or the way I love them, does not mean I’m not good enough to be loved. Just because in a friendship, I’m investing more time and dedication doesn’t mean I don’t deserve the same kind of commitment or that there’s something wrong with me.

A friend of mine often likes to say that not everyone shows love (or handles issues-which I will write about soon) the same way as you. There’s truth to that as well. The way people act and deal with life may have nothing to do with the way they feel about you, that’s why it’s important to have a conversation to understand more of each other. Just because they don’t show love the same way you do, doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate you. However if you feel that you are being that for granted, let that person know. You’re never wrong to voice that.

You are never wrong to love and be kind; and if you feel like in any relationship you are not receiving the same level of commitment and appreciation, have that conversation and if necessary remove yourself. “We accept the love we think we deserve” and honey you deserve the world, don’t let anyone make you think otherwise or that you’re not enough to deserve that type of love.

Most importantly never let anyone  degrade the way you feel about yourself.