An afterword in this book (a collection of short stories and essays by Octavia Butler) stated how the author felt like the most interesting part of her is her fiction.
I paused at that because her autobiographical essay (which she states she hated writing) was the part I liked and cherished the most. Her short stories were nothing but amazing, but in her autobiography, I felt seen. I resonated with her words and found myself pausing to catch a breath because my heart felt heavy and light. Heavy because I felt the emotions, light because I felt reassurance. Reassurance that the questions and the doubts that keep me up at night about my profession were not just a fruit of my imagination. Heavy because the worrying thoughts that kept her up at night were the same that consumed me.
The constant ambition and work to achieve your dreams. The doubting of how a Black woman like myself coming from nothing can have significance in a white-dominated profession.
Invasive thoughts that stem from a desire to want better. Invasive thoughts that consume you. A positive obsession.
DEEPEST THOUGHTS 
I can understand how pursing a white dominated profession can cause constant self doubt as a black woman. But keep on going, keep pushing yourself even when it’s hard sometimes. We need you! I really loved this post. Can’t wait for the next one !
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