I woke up today, feeling a heavy pain on my chest. In light of recent events I have been in such a cloudy mood mixed of hurt, anger, anxiety, and sadness. It hasn’t even been more than two weeks since Ahmaud and yet again another innocent black man dies and at the hands of white police officers. I am sickened to my core. I have been laying here for two hours, too hurt to move, to hurt to think about anything else. This pain and rage is constant in my mind. 

I have seen the video but I haven’t watched it. I can’t watch it. I can’t stomach that pain on top of the hurt I already feel, I know…I just can’t. And I can’t imagine what he went through, his family is going through. What numerous black families have been forced to go through because of racism and police brutality. 

It’s so obvious how much the system doesn’t  care about black lives. It really pains me to see this, to see black lives lost, pains me to see black lives targeted and deemed as less important than others, it pains me to see the BLATANT discrimination against my people, and it’s so obvious. It pains me that people always find a way to turn the narrative around blaming the innocent victims, the protestors, but fail hold the perpetuators of police brutality and racism accountable. 

It pains me to see that people who choose to stand up against racism and discrimination are more persecuted that people who discriminate, spread hate, and murder black people. It pains me to see people more outraged by the loss of PROPERTY than the loss of BLACK LIVES. It pains me to see that while we wake up burdened by the agonizing disregard for our black lives, it seems to be just another sunny day for some white people. It pains me to see that in the midst of all this BLATANT injustice, people still choose to side with the oppressor. That they decide to remain silent. It pains me to see non blacks around me, followers, classmates, acquaintances, so called “friends” stay silent on these matters SHOWING THEIR OWN DISREGARD FOR BLACK LIVES. For my black life, for every black life in their lives. 

It’s time for a change. It’s time. It’s time. It’s time. This cannot go on anymore. Black lives cannot endure anymore of this blatant disrespect and disvalue of our lives. We cannot live the rest of lives in constant danger of being killed by the system JUST BECAUSE WE EXIST. We can’t spend the rest of lives showing y’all why it is wrong, why our lives matter, we can’t go on anymore with this pain and burden. Enough is enough. 

If you think you’re an ally, that “you are not racist”, that you believe in freedom and justice for all, value the lives of your black friends, coworkers, classmates, frat/sorority brothers/sisters, colleagues…THIS IS THE TIME TO SHOW IT. Speak up! Donate! Don’t stay silent.

To non black people, your black friends see and notice when you don’t reach out to them when things like this happens. They notice when u stay silent on these matters but still post bout your daily lives. They notice and question your friendship.

Check in with your black friends. Tell them you see them, you VALUE them, you are here. Ask how you can help. Educate yourself on how u can help.

Donate to the many organizations out there trying to help, speak up about your solidarity with black lives in your group chats, within your family. SHOW YOU ARE AN ALLY.

There are many ways to help and speak up. Many platforms provide the information on how you can help. Do the research and learn ways you can help, however you can. Recognize your privilege and use it to help, do not remain silent.

P.S. I do not own the rights to this last image. Courtesy of reposts on IG/Twitter.

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