Lost

I can be pretty hard on myself. Sometimes I overthink, overanalyze. And other times I really don’t care, I put my emotions away and ignore them. But most of the times, I’m overthinking, and it get so overwhelming. For example, I think about my future a lot. What I want to do with my life, and how I can achieve those goals. Like right now, before writing this, I sat on my desk thinking about what kind of doctor I want to be, the people I want to help, where exactly I want to go that may need my help, if I will be capable of helping, am I doing enough right now, what is the right path to achieve my goals, is there even a right path…

Writing down the things that go through my mind helps clear my head.

What helps me the most is my faith. I have this sense of understanding, confidence not in myself but in God that no matter what I will be okay, I will be more than fine. I know I overthink a lot, and before I used to believe that certain things are supposed to happen in a specific way. But this past year I have learned that God’s plan (not the drake song) differs from mine and it’s even better. A character in the book I’m reading stated “Deep down you always know who you are, who you are supposed to become”; I find that to be true. Deep down I know who I am and what my purpose is & I’ve ever doubted that, but it is the journey that I am unsure about. I get worried, impatient thinking it’s not happening fast enough, or I’m not doing enough. I have learned to put my faith in God. It is okay that I think and plan, but I should not overthink, worry or get discouraged when things do not pan out the way I thought because at the end of the day, it’s all for the better. He will get me where I am supposed to get. What is meant to be will be, by His Grace.

I am sure this may sound nuts, but I am also sure that there are many young people out there who do wonder whether they are on the right path, who sometimes feel like they are not doing enough or the right things. You are not alone.

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