Veterans Day passed a bit ago, and like I do for most holidays, I paid it no mind. Being of my generation, growing hearing about the wars in the Middle East, current genocide in Gaza… I’ve never been pro military. Hearing about the struggles many veterans face, the way governments disregard many of their own, pushed me away from having a positive light on the military, any military.
This book shifted my perspective and I’m grateful for that. I am grateful for books, like this, that shift my outlook on various situations. Understanding the significance of days like Veterans Day is important, and even if I may not agree with the politics surrounding it, I must look beyond that to see the individuals who serve. It’s essential to recognize them as unique individuals rather than mere pawns or victims of the system.
Women like Frances, Ethel, and Barb were part of a broader movement that transformed societal roles and made significant sacrifices during a pivotal moment in history. Reading how the roles women are often forgotten about, gave me a new insight to the plight of veterans.
This book is joining the list of books that radicalized me as a feminist. It reflected the layers of invalidation women experience in many aspects of life. The way Frances was treated mostly by her father and other veterans was disheartening. Her experiences being dismissed, resources being denied because of her gender indicated the discrimination she faced.
As a future physician, I felt inspired by Frances’ dedication, bravery and skills. If nothing, this books shows how indispensable nurses are. Medicine would be nowhere without nursing. They deserve recognition for their services in this field, in the military and in any others.
Life can be difficult at times, and that was the case for Frances. I’m glad she realized she’s human. She learned to forgive herself for making mistakes, for not being who others envisioned her to be. I understand her guilt about her mistakes especially given the way she was raised to be before the war. I still struggle with not being perfect.
Frances finding some peace and purpose was an ending I was grateful for. An ending I do not take for granted. Yes, many women end up with love and marriage. Others do not, and that’s a truth that needs to be accepted. A truth, a hopeless romantic like myself, is learning to accept, for real women and fictional ones. The ending was a generous one, given the realities of pain that many veterans suffer through.
One of the shows I watch yearly includes Sex and the City. During the fall I rewatch Gilmore Girls, in the winter Gossip Girl, I rewatch Friends all year round, and during the spring/summer, I rewatch Sex and the City. With season two of the sequel series “Just Like That” premiering this week, this seemed like the perfect time to revisit a show that has influenced my 20s and sense of fashion in a significant way.
So let’s talk about the fashion in Sex and the City (SATC) starting with Miranda. Miranda? Yes, I know Miranda. Even though a fan favorite when it comes to her personality, I do not see her portrayed as a fashion icon in the show like Carrie, Samantha, or even Charlotte. At least not in the later seasons. However, “Season 1 Miranda”? Oh, she is an icon. I believe the show really focused on using style to showcase the characters’ personalities more in the first season, which makes sense as they were still trying to establish their personas and give the audience a quick understanding of who they were. Miranda was the ambitious lawyer and with that came the suits.
The first season brilliantly captured that corporate look for Miranda. Personally, as I grow into more professional spaces, this look is something I am trying to build more into my wardrobe. What I find difficult about this aesthetic, is how to incorporate my own personality into it. At times, I do find it bland, however with appropriate styling, like hairstyles, choice of jewelry, clothing color, SHOES, I am finding this look much more fun to pursue.
Later seasons, still do continue to highlight the corporate look for Miranda. I also do enjoy the variability they give her as well. I believe she dives really well into that ambiguous, sometimes even street style (I mean the overalls look with the cap is timeless) aesthetic the best out of all the women on the show.
Samantha and Charlotte also have been the protagonists of some of my favorite looks throughout the show. I like them for different reasons. I love Samantha for not shying away from still looking fashionable as she gets older. A few months ago there was this trend of younger girls showing their mothers in their clothing and they looked so vibrant, it just reminded me of Samantha. I think there is a societal pressure for women to dress (which is even seen in the series, unfortunately) in a certain way as they age but lately, I am seeing the change in women maintaining and maturing their style in a way that is true to them. Samantha represents that for me. She refuses to let others dictate her style and she looks great while at it. I like to think of Samantha as the definition of sex appeal, which has more to do with her personality but translates so well in all of her clothing. Next to Carrie, I think she is the most fashion vanguard. No matter what she wears, she looks sexy. And I love it. Here are some of my favorite looks from her, and I have to say red is her color.
This look is exceptionally memorable, andbusiness but fun. Exactly the type of corporate look I want to emulate.
Charlotte emulates (forgive me for sounding too trendy) old money, which is not exactly my cup of tea but very fitting for an upper east side WASP (as she describes herself). The actress, Kristin Davis, I find exceptionally beautiful. I think she was perfectly cast for this role and helped bring some of Charlotte’s styling to life. I did occasionally enjoy several of her looks. Here are my favorites:
Last but not in the bit least is Carrie. Oh, Carrie! Even though not my favorite character, but a fantastically flawed character I do enjoy watching (Watch this brief analysis: Why does everyone hate Carrie) especially because of her sense of style. Gosh, I could talk about her outfits forever! Sometimes when I am getting ready for a special event, I put on an episode just so I can channel my best fashion sense and excitement for clothes. In the first season, we didn’t see as much of the fashion lover she was, which was quite the opposite as we saw with Miranda, but I believe it was more of a budget issue. This is even more supported in the first season when we see her repeat most of her outfits (THE ICONIC FUR COAT, LADIES IT IS OKAY TO REWEAR YOUR CLOTHES, PLEASE DO!)
Something I did enjoy watching throughout the 6 seasons (and the movies) is the evolution of Carries’ clothing. She possesses the most range out of all the women and showcases many timeless looks. Something Carries does very well is manage to look stylish even with her most casual looks.
Additionally, I particularly love her dresses. They are, in my opinion, her best most iconic looks.
More looks that I love from Carrie.
Carrie’s style is colorful and unique. She really influences many trends that continue to exist today. For example, a recent styling that has resurfaced is the addition of flowers to clothing that characterized “Season 3 Carrie”.
This look has returned to predominate recent runaways in a major way and based on the more recent season of “Just Like That”, it is back for Carrie as well. I even just recently bought a flower necklace accessory to style with because it is such a feminine, fun, and easy way to elevate a look.
One of my favorite fashion creatives sporting the necklace flower look.
I started watching SATC a long time ago, maybe even too young, but even at such a young age I admired Carrie’s fashion. It instilled in me excitement, vibrancy, beauty, and a love for clothing; an intriguing aspect of life to look forward to and develop from then til the end of my days. At whatever age, I have learned that fashion can be used to express myself. It is okay to love looking good, to get excited about a new pair of shoes, to wear your best outfit to meet your girlfriends for a walk in the park, to go to the grocery store, or even to sit for hours studying at a coffeeshop.
I’m a bit (a lot, overwhelmingly much) of a planner and find joy in staying organized, in every aspect of my life. And that extends even to my hobbies. I like to watch anime and I’m the type that watches several different types at the same time. Ya girl gets bored fast and needs to switch it up often. But that can get messy and overwhelming at times too because I’m watching multiple, I fall behind, I’m either working multiple jobs or studying as a full-time student, I’m taking too long to watch them, I discover new ones and add to my list. A mess.
However, with some organization, I am able to give attention to all my anime and relax while I watch.
1. I like to divide by “Currently airing” vs “Finished series” For example, my current list is:
Currently airing: Attack on Titan (last season premiering TODAY omg); Demon Slayer
Finished series: Fire Force; Nozaki-Kun (always a dose of easy-to-watch romance shojo)
2. I plan on when I’m going to watch each category and stick to it.
Currently airing: On Self-Care Sundays I watch the latest episode of the ongoing anime. No matter what day they are released, I just discipline myself to wait and avoid spoilers online. It’s easier said than done and luckily this season they all premiere on Sundays. If there’s a particular ongoing anime you know you can’t wait for, just schedule that day to be when you catch up on the ongoing anime.
Finished series: I usually associate a time or activity and that’s the only time I watch it, also as a way to limit myself from binging. When I am cleaning my apartment: Fire Force. When I’m cooking: Nozaki-Kun
That’s how I have been navigating everything in the past couple of years and it allows me to indulge without feeling like I just lost hours being “unproductive”. Especially now since I have so much on my plate, it’s a form of discipline. Even this can be a lot of screen time, so I am also holding myself accountable for not starting any new anime until one that I am watching is completed or off-season. Because if not, I get this urge to binge-watch until I am caught up to current episodes.
So for example, when Demon Slayer was off the air, I watched Revolutionary Girl Utena from my to-watch list in the meantime. Or didn’t start Nozaki-Kun until I finished Toradora.
Additionally, I have to keep in mind the ongoing anime that I am watching but that doesn’t have a new season out yet (hmm One Punch Man & Jujutsu Kaisen I speaking particularly to you).
Also, I only watch ongoing anime in subbed. When you’re busy like I am, you possibly can’t watch everything subbed. Dubbed is very much the wave at times. Ya girl gotta multitask.
Be flexible with your list, but hold yourself accountable and disciplined to stick with a couple of major rules you can’t break. For example, mine is not watching more than 6 anime at a time. No matter what recently premiered or how good it is, or the recommendation of a friend, if one is being added that means one gotta go.
I used to be a manga reader as well, you know back in high school when I had so much time (I mean there are the same 24 hours, but like dang adulthood really changes the perception of time). Honestly it got to a point where I could not keep up with all my hobbies and had to let some go.
So I choose reading books over manga, plus I would watch the anime anyway to see the graphics so I am now a solely anime person (except Boruto because the anime was getting on my nerves.)
Sigh…Maybe when I retire, I will go back to watching One Piece and reading manga.
My journal entry in May 2020: “These past weeks, especially with significant steps being made for my future, my anxiety has been through the roof. I’m so worried because it’s so crippling, I can’t even concentrate to practice for my exams because instead of paying attention to what I’m reading my mind is going over 50 scenarios of why I will not make it. I don’t know what it is but I’m so afraid and I keep seeing and dwelling on the negative things. It’s like I will be reading and then my mind suddenly is like what about this, what if they (admission’s committees) see this and won’t consider you? Oh remember this part, how will u respond to this if they ask you about it. It is like my brain is nitpicking at all the bad things about me and chooses the most random, hard times in my day to bombard me”.
My anxiety coming in to see me every morning
It is October 2021 and things are not much different. Therapy and my journey with Christ have been of tremendous help but with the new challenges this chapter of my life presents, I feel like I am regressing.
My constant state of anxiousness is more pronounced: it’s getting harder to pull away from things intensifying my anxiety (the line between life and school is super blurry right now and that’s something new for me); it’s getting harder to realize that this emotion does not translate to the reality of things.
There are several devotions that I’ve read to help me navigate my anxiety. Even the current one I am working through right now states regularly that there’s no need to be anxious for God will always provide. Matthew 6: 34 Jesus states “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble on its own (Literally if I may add).”.
However, somehow in those moment when something triggers my anxiety severely, those moments when the stresses of life get overwhelming, it’s like I experience a memory loss. I can’t remember all these things that God has said. I forget that He is with me. I forget the many previous episodes He has seen me through. I chase to control everything, trying to solve every problem on my own, which makes me feel even more isolated, forgetting that I’m not alone. It’s like I am chasing to gain control over things that I cannot do anything about.
I even worry about how anxious I am. I worry about what I can do to ease my anxiety, I worry about why I’m not “normal”, about how after all this time I still haven’t “solved my anxiety”, about how I am facing all these things, why I can’t seem to get things in order. It’s a constant I, I, I, I, I, I.
And then the guilt sets in. I remember that I shouldn’t be worried if I have faith in God. I feel guilty because I pray and say I leave my worries to God but then I don’t. I can’t. They just keep coming back. I feel like I don’t have faith in God, I am doubting His power, even though he has shown me time and time again that He will come through for me. There is no need to worry. If I had faith how could I worry constantly about everything? If I lived a life of faith I wouldn’t have anxiety, panic attacks, I wouldn’t let the stresses of life get to me so much.
God giving me the weekly pep talk
Connotations about “do not worry/fear” are mentioned so many times in the Bible, it’s literally God’s catchphrase. Gratefully, God always pulls me out and I am reminded of his grace, I am reminded to pray, journal, talk to other people and leave it in His hands. And I always find comfort in doing so. I just do not know why I don’t do that sooner when I feel the panic coming. Why don’t I immediately surrender to His way rather than tackling it on my own.
I know that anxiety is not a sin. Emotions are there for a reason, and we have to feel them. But where is the point where it crosses over from healthy expression to damaging? I find it difficult to sometimes not let my anxiety steal the joy out of my life. And that pisses me off because I love my life. I am blessed in so many ways. We all are. But sometimes the truth is clouded by anxiety.
I have to remember and I’m here to remind you that if you have anxiety, you’re not alone, your feelings are valid however they are not a permanent, realistic portrait of your life. You’re more than that. God is more than your anxiety and He will pull you from it.
Write it down, pray, let it go. Go for a walk or something.
I never felt in a rush to be in relationship. Whenever I asked, I tended to run the other way. Sometimes I think I just enjoy dating, and I’m not in a rush to find the one. Sometimes I think it’s because I just hadn’t found a person who made me excited to be in a relationship.
However, had I unintentionally made being single such a part of myself, that I was failing to see the beauty in the otherwise?
Even when the occasion of someone who makes me excited to be in relationship presented itself, a part of me felt like I was abandoning myself. I found myself afraid to let go of the “single woman trope”, “happy in my singleness”, “can do it all by own” character. I had learned to be so comfortable with myself nonetheless, when did that turn me into being against accepting love from others?
I have always been afraid of being defined by a romantic relationship. I want to be known as me, and not be shrunk into “someone’s girlfriend/spouse.” This fear of being overshadowed by a relationship or marriage is not unfounded. There are many instances in history when this has happened and continues to happen in certain communities/instances. However I often feel alone in this fear. I don’t see many women speaking on this, and often the ideology of aspiring to relationship/marriage is often portrayed as what should be normal for a woman. Therefore, I often felt and was made feel abnormal for not always wanting that.
Also sometimes when I would start voicing these concerns I have about being in a relationship or marriage, it would often be perceived as not wanting love. I want love. I’m a romantic at heart, I love Love, love seeing it, giving it, experiencing it. Nonetheless romantic love is not the only love I prioritize. Love with my family and in friendships have taken a great importance in my life. In a way I have been blessed enough to feel satisfied in those, but however due to certain pressures, that satisfaction feels incomplete without romantic love. I want companionship but I don’t want that to be the only or most important form of love in my life.
Being single for me also became a way for to prove that love with my family and friends is equally enough. Which it is. But to who and why was trying was I trying to prove it?
I feel like I’ve taken upon myself certain burdens that no one asked me to and I’m learning to let them go. The best way to inspire people is by living my life happily as I want. Not by single-handedly trying to deconstruct social views through my life nor by neglecting different blessings that come into my life, to fit a certain narrative.
I don’t have to fit in a box. Things aren’t black and white. Being independent doesn’t equate being single. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean not having any autonomy. I for sure know that now, with my commitment fearing behind being in a healthy long-term relationship.
If you have the privilege to be able to pursue any kind of loving relationship, you should. You deserve to be loved on. That doesn’t mean you are forgetting yourself or caving to the patriarchy. Remember to set your boundaries, find people who will respect you and them, and stay true to yourself.
We spend a lot of time and money during college to gain a degree but none of those expenditures really go into preparing us for life after that degree. Especially, when it comes to mental health. We don’t discuss what happens if you don’t get a job immediately in your field, we don’t discuss how to navigate transitioning from a student to being an employee (or self-employer), we don’t discuss how to deal with the sudden “loss” of a community or routine that has been part of your life for four years or more. We don’t discuss how weird it may feel to move back home after years of living independently. We don’t discuss the challenges of moving out in your own and those new responsibilities. We don’t discuss how to cope with the successes or failures that one may encounter in those few years after getting a degree.
You are handed a degree and suddenly expected to know how to be an adult. Am I asking for a handbook with a map to life? No, that’s crazy. No one’s life looks the same. You understand life by experiencing it, defining your own journey. Nonetheless, why don’t we ever take time to discuss, acknowledge the new realities that many new graduates may encounter. Why don’t we ever pause and teach students that a degree is not the magical answer to all, and dwell a little bit more on the changes that come ahead after college.
Conversations as such are necessary and would be helpful for many graduates. I think it would have been helpful for new graduates to be mentally prepared to know that these challenges in life are not individual, isolated experiences. It would have cushioned the blow to be able to know that we can speak on these things freely and be taken seriously. Tweeting a sarcastic statement about life that goes viral is nice and all, however we cannot truly deduce how (and if) others relate to these experiences and are not sure if we are welcomed to speak on it in real life. Additionally on social media, a lot can occur that suggest that others have a more successful life, leading to comparison and feelings of inadequacies. Additionally there is often a lot of pressure in remaining private about your hardships and only showing your successes. No one is supposed to know you are having a hard time, everyone who posts seems to be living the luxury life…it can all quickly feel very isolating. Even though you know that “not everything on social media is real” it can be hard to apply that and remember that. It’s often made seem that facing difficulties in life is not normal. Something must be wrong with you if you are encountering that.
Something must be wrong with you that you haven’t found a job or don’t know your next step after college. Something must be wrong with you that you live with your parents or that even though you are living on your own, cannot afford luxury living conditions. Something must be wrong with you that you can’t afford to buy (insert expense here) when you have a full time job (albeit at times employers may not recognize your value to pay you enough to live comfortably in this economy and you have to find a way to negotiate for bigger pay which is a whole different challenge as a new graduate). Something must be wrong with you that you are not satisfied with your new job experience or may desire a new career now.
…
It has been a little over a year since I graduated and it’s been quite the journey. I think everything has been exasperated with the pandemic, nonetheless I often wonder how recent graduates are coping with life after college. Like am I the only thinking…this ain’t all that, yet? Am I the only feeling kind of lost and stuck? It’s like I want to move forward, I know what I want or I’m still figuring it out, but yet I constantly feel dubious or feel like I don’t have the right tools to move forward?
As someone who was also deeply involved with my community during undergrad, I have also been navigating my identity without these roles defining me anymore. The roles were a form of community, identity, validation and now that they are not a part of my life anymore, I have had to pause and think about who am I outside of those roles, outside of being a student. If these passions are something I want to continue investing in, how can I do so without my college community?
I think even with my experiences of being: basically responsible for myself throughout adolescence and early adulthood, having had the multiple jobs, the good head on my shoulders thing, taught to be independent, I still feel unprepared for these life challenges.
And sometimes it’s hard to not beat yourself up for it.
As the oldest child in my family, I often think about how can I use my experiences to help my younger siblings navigate through things they may encounter when they get to my age or older stage in life. With my brother soon reaching this milestone, I often wonder how can I prepare him for this when I don’t feel prepared and I’m living it. All I know is I will for sure provide a safe place for him to speak on his experiences and let him know that whatever he may encounter ahead he’s not alone.
Book of the month: The story of the lost child by Elena Ferrante. I’m finishing up the fourth and last book of this marvelous neapolitan series by Elena Ferrante. Highly recommend, such an enjoyable read. What I love about this series is that it gave me so much more time to grow alongside the characters. Usually books narrate only a small period of life, but with these novels we get to navigate the entire life of our beloved Lina and Lenu and their neighborhood. Book review coming soon.
I used to be the type that copied and pasted skincare routines. If something worked for someone, I would just buy the product without doing any sort of research to understand my skin or the product really. It always baffled me because I will literally research into everything I’m into, but not what I put on my face? MY FACE!
Before 2020, I knew my skin was sensitive, and acne prone but overall it behaved, you know. At the same time, I knew I should be doing better. It wasn’t until last year that I (well my breakouts forced me to) finally decided to actually do the work to start really taking note of my facial skincare.
Here is what I have learned so far. Please note that I will refrain from sharing my skincare products right now as I’m only an expert in my skin, I am still learning and there are too many (unqualified) people recommending products. The whole point of this is to encourage you to learn about your skin and do the work of discovering what is the best for you. This is a direction of where you can start to look towards and look out for.
Be open minded. If you are not ready to unlearn and learn, just stop. Matter of fact stop reading this too and go by your day. I know it’s hard to read things that go against what we have been taught to be right for years. However, if you are not willing to listen, research, understand how something fits or doesn’t fit in your personal life and just want to find things that fit your notion of what it’s right…well then, good luck with life. It’s normal to dislike being uncomfortable, however that’s where growth happens majority of the time. Be open minded to unlearning past behaviors and learn to change your views. It’s okay, it’s called growth.
Following these skin care experts (linked below) on Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, truly contributed to my knowledge. Now with these accounts don’t go barging in with questions. DO YOUR OWN WORK. It will be very likely that whatever question you may have, might have been answered already. Search for the persons name and the topic. For example: @person name: sunscreen. And then READ/WATCH! When it comes to truly getting to know your skin (for free I may add) you have to be willing to put in the time to search and watch/read the resources available. If not pay for the service. But even then, going in with the mentality I want this quick with fast results, is not going to get you anywhere. Patience is truly key.
Know your boundaries when unlearning and learning. There are some tips about skincare like the “you don’t need to scrub or use body wash on all of your body” that go against every African bone in my body. But again that’s why skincare is personal. If it doesn’t hurt do what’s best for you. Trust your instinct. There may be great reviews about a product but it doesn’t work for you. You can feel it on your skin (literally), but you keep using it…why? There may be a lot of trial and error in this process, so it’s important to trust your intuitions. Respect your boundaries including your budget.
Speaking of budget. You are going to have spend money, yes. You’re going to buy a product but then it doesn’t work for your skin. You will feel the pressure of buying expensive products. But how can you reduce these instances to the minimum? 1.First set a budget on what you will buy in a month and stick to it. Don’t impulse buy. Don’t buy a whole routine at once (also because you are suppose to introduce one or two products into your skin at a time to understand how and what your skin is reacting to). 2. Try with recommended drug store option for a product first. Usually these come cheaper but have the same effect. There are some really great drugstore lines out there (ie CeraVe) and cheaper lines out there (or Inkey List) that are highly recommended with great results. Also this gives you the option to test without breaking your pockets. 3. Ask for free samples. I know it can feel cheap, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Additionally, there’s nothing wrong with that. Stores like Sephora, often carry small testing size, especially for their more expensive products. It will not hurt to ask. Trust me. This has saved me so much money and really allowed me to make the best decisions for my skin and budget. The salesperson is there to help you, ask your questions, develop a relationship with one if that will make you more comfortable (yea that’s Jen my Sephora lady like yes, you have a eyebrow lady so why not!). Inquire! 4. Keep an eye out for releases. Some lines will release (limited editions) of their more expensive products in a smaller size or in a combo with another product. Two for one deals are awesome.
Products don’t stop working. Your skin may just not need it anymore or may need something else for the time being. For example if your moisturizer is leaving your skin dry in the winter, it’s not that the product stopped working for your skin, it may be that your skin needs something more hydrating during the colder months. Which brings me to my next point.
Different seasons, different skin care. Sometimes a product cannot be used all year round. So don’t throw it away yet.
Understand what you are treating, what actives (chemicals/ingredients) you need to treat such condition, and what form you prefer. For example, I have acne prone skin and salicylic acid is the anti-acne active that works best for me. However, solely in a cleanser form. Using it as a toner or part of a moisturizer or something that stays on the skin is too harsh for me and tends to irritate more and lead to hyperpigmentation (which I’m trying to avoid). Nonetheless I have discovered that salicylic acid as a cleanser, which I wash off after 60 seconds, and use not more than 3 times a week, works wonders for me. That’s why I keep stressing how skincare is personal and takes time to understand and develop.
Have patience and have fun. Discovering what works for my skin, testing products, going to Sephora, watching YouTube skincare videos has been so enjoyable and a luxurious aspect of my life. I truly look forward to doing my skincare.
WEAR SUNSCREEN. If you don’t take anything from this post, take this last point at least.
I stated that I will not share my routine at this time (refraining from taking those nice pics of my products was really hard) but if you do ever need help in finding reviews on a product or (after doing your own research) want to see if I tried a product and like what has been working for me versus another, dm me! IG/Twitter: @simply_adjoa
Good luck and have fun!!
EXPERTS TO FOLLOW (Finding experts who are people of color and experts of dark skin made a difference for me!):
P.S: I can see that this can be overwhelming, to know where to get started. So here is usually what I do:
Select out the issue I want to deal with or achieve (ie. hyperpigmentation, dryness, brightening…etc)
Watch dedicated videos on that subject by these experts (usually Dr. Rattan and Dr. Stephens help me understand why these problems occur, the science behind it-which the scientist in me personally enjoys. This is also helpful with prevention and avoiding self blame)
Find out which ingredients to look for that work with my skintone/type of skin (Dr. Rattan, Dr. Stephens, LaBeautyologist, Tiara Willis) *Note: ingredients are more like the actives like azelaic acid, squalene, niacinamide…etc in a product.
What great products (brands or forms like toner vs serum) have these ingredients (Sean Garrette, Susan Yara, Dr. Rattan & Dr. Stephens)
Where in my routine should I incorporate it in/ how should I layer ingredients/ which combinations work well or don’t (ALL)
Naruto’s storyline and growth. Whenever I am going through a hard time in life, I always think about Naruto. He literally overcame so much darkness but did not allow that to affect his kindness or outlook of life. Often things can be so hard, it is easy to be negative and take your frustration and anger out to your surroundings. However, Naruto does not do that. He allows himself to feel the emotions (because hey toxic positivity is real, everything isn’t shiny, life can really suck at times) but ultimately remains himself, still shows kindness and tries his best to life better for himself and others.
Villains. I mean the villains in Naruto are tough! Sometimes I am really on my toes, because these individuals are truly STRONG! Many have succeeded in killing some favorites and important characters. Additionally, they are all so different, given distinctive personalities and arcs. They also have complex storylines, sometimes making it hard to not low-key root for them. I mean from Zabuza to Orochimaru to Nagato, these villains are fantastic and often fan favorites.
Itachi. And that’s all I need to say.
The Akatsuki. I know I already spoke about villains. Can please take a moment to appreciate them all for a second. Who can top them? I mean they gave our heroes a run for their money. Destroying entire villages! They were all formidable opponents and kind of funny. Some best moments and fights on the anime was with Akatsuki members. Kisame still kind of creeps me out but yet intrigues me at the same time.
The Great Wars. Wars are not great per say. However, what I like in Naruto is how the display of these great wars gives the audience a sense of timeline and story to the Naruto Universe. They illustrate the background for many of the older (often dead) characters and allow the audience to see their strength in full display. In Naruto, past hokages and heroes are often talked about and have a huge influence on the current characters, so it is good to get a sense of how their lifetime was. Also they illustrate the intricate history among the different villages and towns, allowing us to understand more of the dynamics and politics in the Naruto universe.
Redemption. A lot of people commit some really twisted acts that deeply harms others. A lot of characters are awful people at the beginning of the anime. However, a key message I get from the anime is that no one is unforgivable. We are not above anyone to judge them as unredeemable. We get to witness people grow, they are given space and understanding to grow rather than being stuck with their mistakes. Yes, you will pay for consequences however you are not defined by it. We get to see so many characters being challenged and change their perspectives on life and are given that support and love granted to anyone else. It’s never too late to save yourself.
Comedy gold and heartfelt moments. I think Naruto has a good combination of serious and light hearted moments. Some dynamics themselves are just a laughter relief where you experience nothing but joy, even during serious moments. For example, every time Might Guy and Kakashi interact. Naruto’s dumb moments with Jiraiya, Killer Bee’s awful rap, every inappropriate moment Naruto uses the Harem jutsu. I mean we have some funny characters and moments in the anime. At the same time, there are so many moments that have literally brought me to tears. Like when Kushina and Naruto meet for the first time. C’mon! I know you were crying too. When Itachi told Sasuke he would love him forever! OMG! When Shikamaru avenged Asuma, I know you got the feels! Whether it is sad moments, celebrations, funny moments, you feel them right along with the characters.
The Tailed Beasts. I honestly wished we got more interactions with all of the ten beasts and their jinchuuriki. I don’t know why but I felt like I needed that. But I am going to settle for one the best things ever: The Jinchuuriki and Tailed Beast Song. Whenever you’re feeling down just put this song on and try to sing along lol.
Jutsu/Techniques. There are a wide variety of techniques possessed by the characters in the Naruto universe. Some more powerful and difficult to maneuver more than others. All interesting and fitting to each individual. There are so many kinds, it’s hard to keep up but it honestly never gets boring. It is also unique to see some characters grow into their skills, improve their abilities, or even watch jutsu navigate through different generations.
Overall, I love this manga/anime series. I’m happy to see it continuing through Boruto and too see many people, including the younger generations, appreciating it online.
I’m loving this new era of animes. I’m a pretty 80-90’s anime girl, maybe early 2000s. But honestly, these new recent animes though…they giving what they supposed to give.
P.S. I do not own any copyright to the images included.
Hearing stories of how people overcame a situation I find myself in always helps me reinforce my motivation and faith. However, these stories often come when that happy ending has been achieved, and while there’s comfort in that, it makes it difficult to know what really goes on in those moments when the happy ending is nowhere in sight.
I know my success is coming. My God is greater than anything on this earth, and what He has meant for me, no one can take away. And that’s on what? Mary had a little lamb.
However, sheesh, sometimes my doubts and fears get to me. So I wanted to write this to acknowledge those moments when the darkness is overcoming the light, those moments that even though I keep going, I feel dead inside. Because those moments deserve the same acknowledgment as the celebration.
I know we live in a society where it is often emphasized to “not let people see you sweat,” to “build/suffer in silence then post only the happy endings.” But the grass ain’t always green, unfortunately. Sometimes it is a little grey dry, and that is okay.
2020 broke me, lol.
And I laugh because if you had ever told me that the security, confidence in certain things I worked so hard to build would shamble at the face of this obstacle I’m facing, I would have been like that could never be me. 2020 said “Sis that’s you.”
My happy ending is nowhere in sight I don’t know if it’s going to happen at all this year either, I don’t know when it’s going to happen. I wake up thinking about it, I go to bed thinking about it. It is like this heavyweight constantly sitting on my chest, and sometimes I find it hard to breathe, so I just sleep. At times I feel like I shouldn’t be living my life, doing anything that doesn’t add to that particular goal, other times I indulge in other aspects of life but mainly as an escape.
Therapy has been teaching me a lot in seeing value in other parts of me and my life and I’m so grateful for that and the progress I’ve been making. My faith that my happy ending will come, (maybe not at my timeline or way but God’s) keeps me going (drives me crazy not knowing but it keeps going).
But to be honest, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. As a planner, I can’t plan anything about my life right now because I’m just waiting and that’s driving me insane. It’s no fun and I hate it here. Yet I know one day my happy ending will come. Until then if you’re in the same boat, feeling like this or even worse (as I have and can’t put into words), know that you’re not alone. Keep moving forward.
PS: An unpopular opinion: this emphasis on suffering in silence, or not letting people see the hard parts of life, this constant toxic positivity, continuously creates shame and loneliness when experiencing hardships in life and also sets an unrealistic reality of how long and non-linear successes are in life.
Book of the month: My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante. Marvelous book series, also adapted into a tv series on HBO. Worth the watch!
Video to watch: Something to make you laugh, especially if you’re an Attack on Titan fan
P.S. I do not own any copyright to the images included.
St. Louis to Newark: I haven’t had the time to really sit and think about this trip. So much happening around me, trying to live one day at a time, I hadn’t allowed myself to think ahead or plan as I usually do, with fear of being disappointed or just not trying to set any expectations going into the experience. After taking a much deserved nap on the flight, as I open the window and stare the sky seeing the landscape of New Jersey beneath, it dawned on me how excited I am to be going home. To be home and see my family. I indulge in fantasizing about hugging my little sister and my brother who I know will push me away but still embrace me. I missed them, and soon I know this fantasy will be a reality. I smile looking outside the window. Thinking about my father, who I can’t wait to see and bother with what he calls my too much questioning as he shows me the new additions he has made to our home. I realize how much I have missed traveling. Excitement finally sets in.
New York to Accra: the beautiful landscape of Ghana brings tears to my eyes. I can’t believe after 14 years I’m finally returning to Ghana. Excited can’t begin to explain the overwhelming emotions I’m feeling. This honestly ones of the smoothest flights, given that I slept all but one hour. But I’m in mother freaking Ghanaaaa. The national anthem starts playing in my head.
Between continuously hugging my mom who haven’t seen in a year, reminiscing over past times, and preparing for upcoming events for the weekend, I haven’t had the chance to just sit and dwell. First let me say I hadn’t realize how living in a fast pace society and my privilege with quick access to certain things had made so impatient. I mean I just have to wait til tomorrow to get some Wi-Fi to connect to my social media and Netflix and I’m going crazy. Tragic. But as I sit here with my uncle and enjoy some kelewele, I coming to realize that I am a different country. Things work differently, at a different pace. Acknowledge, accept, adjust.
DEEPEST THOUGHTS 