Adjoa Cofie1 Comment

Skincare is Personal

I used to be the type that copied and pasted skincare routines. If something worked for someone, I would just buy the product without doing any sort of research to understand my skin or the product really. It always baffled me because I will literally research into everything I’m into, but not what I put on my face? MY FACE! 

Before 2020, I knew my skin was sensitive, and acne prone but overall it behaved, you know. At the same time, I knew I should be doing better. It wasn’t until last year that I (well my breakouts forced me to) finally decided to actually do the work to start really taking note of my facial skincare.  

Here is what I have learned so far. Please note that I will refrain from sharing my skincare products right now as I’m only an expert in my skin, I am still learning and there are too many (unqualified) people recommending products. The whole point of this is to encourage you to learn about your skin and do the work of discovering what is the best for you. This is a direction of where you can start to look towards and look out for. 

  • Be open minded. If you are not ready to unlearn and learn, just stop. Matter of fact stop reading this too and go by your day. I know it’s hard to read things that go against what we have been taught to be right for years. However, if you are not willing to listen, research, understand how something fits or doesn’t fit in your personal life and just want to find things that fit your notion of what it’s right…well then, good luck with life. It’s normal to dislike being uncomfortable, however that’s where growth happens majority of the time. Be open minded to unlearning past behaviors and learn to change your views. It’s okay, it’s called growth. 
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  • Following these skin care experts (linked below) on Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, truly contributed to  my knowledge. Now with these accounts don’t go barging in with questions. DO YOUR OWN WORK. It will be very likely that whatever question you may have, might have been answered already. Search for the persons name and the topic. For example: @person name: sunscreen. And then READ/WATCH! When it comes to truly getting to know your skin (for free I may add) you have to be willing to put in the time to search and watch/read the resources available. If not pay for the service. But even then, going in with the mentality I want this quick with fast results, is not going to get you anywhere. Patience is truly key. 
  • Know your boundaries when unlearning and learning. There are some tips about skincare like the “you don’t need to scrub or use body wash on all of your body” that go against every African bone in my body. But again that’s why skincare is personal. If it doesn’t hurt do what’s best for you. Trust your instinct. There may be great reviews about a product but it doesn’t work for you. You can feel it on your skin (literally), but you keep using it…why? There may be a lot of trial and error in this process, so it’s important to trust your intuitions. Respect your boundaries including your budget. 
  • Speaking of budget. You are going to have spend money, yes. You’re going to buy a product but then it doesn’t work for your skin. You will feel the pressure of buying expensive products. But how can you reduce these instances to the minimum? 1.First set a budget on what you will buy in a month and stick to it. Don’t impulse buy. Don’t buy a whole routine at once (also because you are suppose to introduce one or two products into your skin at a time to understand how and what your skin is reacting to). 2. Try with recommended drug store option for a product first. Usually these come cheaper but have the same effect. There are some really great drugstore lines out there (ie CeraVe) and cheaper lines out there (or Inkey List) that are highly recommended with great results. Also this gives you the option to test without breaking your pockets. 3. Ask for free samples. I know it can feel cheap, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Additionally, there’s nothing wrong with that. Stores like Sephora, often carry small testing size, especially for their more expensive products. It will not hurt to ask. Trust me. This has saved me so much money and really allowed me to make the best decisions for my skin and budget. The salesperson is there to help you, ask your questions, develop a relationship with one if that will make you more comfortable (yea that’s Jen my Sephora lady like yes, you have a eyebrow lady so why not!). Inquire! 4. Keep an eye out for releases. Some lines will release (limited editions) of their more expensive products in a smaller size or in a combo with another product. Two for one deals are awesome. 
  • Products don’t stop working. Your skin may just not need it anymore or may need something else for the time being. For example if your moisturizer is leaving your skin dry in the winter, it’s not that the product stopped working for your skin, it may be that your skin needs something more hydrating during the colder months. Which brings me to my next point.
  • Different seasons, different skin care. Sometimes a product cannot be used all year round. So don’t throw it away yet.   

  • Understand what you are treating, what actives (chemicals/ingredients) you need to treat such condition, and what form you prefer. For example, I have acne prone skin and salicylic acid is the anti-acne active that works best for me. However, solely in a cleanser form. Using it as a toner or part of a moisturizer or something that stays on the skin is too harsh for me and tends to irritate more and lead to hyperpigmentation (which I’m trying to avoid). Nonetheless I have discovered that salicylic acid as a cleanser, which I wash off after 60 seconds, and use not more than 3 times a week, works wonders for me. That’s why I keep stressing how skincare is personal and takes time to understand and develop. 
  • Have patience and have fun. Discovering what works for my skin, testing products, going to Sephora, watching YouTube skincare videos has been so enjoyable and a luxurious aspect of my life. I truly look forward to doing my skincare. 
  • WEAR SUNSCREEN. If you don’t take anything from this post, take this last point at least. 

I stated that I will not share my routine at this time (refraining from taking those nice pics of my products was really hard) but if you do ever need help in finding reviews on a product or (after doing your own research) want to see if I tried a product and like what has been working for me versus another, dm me! IG/Twitter: @simply_adjoa

Good luck and have fun!!

EXPERTS TO FOLLOW (Finding experts who are people of color and experts of dark skin made a difference for me!):

P.S: I can see that this can be overwhelming, to know where to get started. So here is usually what I do:

  1. Select out the issue I want to deal with or achieve (ie. hyperpigmentation, dryness, brightening…etc)
  2. Watch dedicated videos on that subject by these experts (usually Dr. Rattan and Dr. Stephens help me understand why these problems occur, the science behind it-which the scientist in me personally enjoys. This is also helpful with prevention and avoiding self blame)
  3. Find out which ingredients to look for that work with my skintone/type of skin (Dr. Rattan, Dr. Stephens, LaBeautyologist, Tiara Willis) *Note: ingredients are more like the actives like azelaic acid, squalene, niacinamide…etc in a product.
  4. What great products (brands or forms like toner vs serum) have these ingredients (Sean Garrette, Susan Yara, Dr. Rattan & Dr. Stephens)
  5. Where in my routine should I incorporate it in/ how should I layer ingredients/ which combinations work well or don’t (ALL)

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Reasons Why I Love Naruto

  • Naruto’s storyline and growth. Whenever I am going through a hard time in life, I always think about Naruto. He literally overcame so much darkness but did not allow that to affect his kindness or outlook of life. Often things can be so hard, it is easy to be negative and take your frustration and anger out to your surroundings. However, Naruto does not do that. He allows himself to feel the emotions (because hey toxic positivity is real, everything isn’t shiny, life can really suck at times) but ultimately remains himself, still shows kindness and tries his best to life better for himself and others.
  • Villains. I mean the villains in Naruto are tough! Sometimes I am really on my toes, because these individuals are truly STRONG! Many have succeeded in killing some favorites and important characters. Additionally, they are all so different, given distinctive personalities and arcs. They also have complex storylines, sometimes making it hard to not low-key root for them. I mean from Zabuza to Orochimaru to Nagato, these villains are fantastic and often fan favorites. 
  • Itachi. And that’s all I need to say.
Itachi GIF - Find on GIFER
  • The Akatsuki. I know I already spoke about villains.  Can please take a moment to appreciate them all for a second. Who can top them? I mean they gave our heroes a run for their money. Destroying entire villages! They were all formidable opponents and kind of funny. Some best moments and fights on the anime was with Akatsuki members. Kisame still kind of creeps me out but yet intrigues me at the same time. 
  • The Great Wars. Wars are not great per say. However, what I like in Naruto is how the display of these great wars gives the audience a sense of timeline and story to the Naruto Universe. They illustrate the background for many of the older (often dead) characters and allow the audience to see their strength in full display. In Naruto, past hokages and heroes are often talked about and have a huge influence on the current characters, so it is good to get a sense of how their lifetime was. Also they illustrate the intricate history among the different villages and towns, allowing us to understand more of the dynamics and politics in the Naruto universe.
NARUTO Hokages Wallpaper 2 by Drumsweiss on DeviantArt
  • Redemption. A lot of people commit some really twisted acts that deeply harms others. A lot of characters are awful people at the beginning of the anime. However, a key message I get from the anime is that no one is unforgivable. We are not above anyone to judge them as unredeemable. We get to witness people grow, they are given space and understanding to grow rather than being stuck with their mistakes. Yes, you will pay for consequences however you are not defined by it. We get to see so many characters being challenged and change their perspectives on life and are given that support and love granted to anyone else. It’s never too late to save yourself. 
Naruto AMV - Funny Moments - Time Lapse - YouTube

  • Comedy gold and heartfelt moments. I think Naruto has a good combination of serious and light hearted moments. Some dynamics themselves are just a laughter relief where you experience nothing but joy, even during serious moments. For example, every time Might Guy and Kakashi interact. Naruto’s dumb moments with Jiraiya, Killer Bee’s awful rap, every inappropriate moment Naruto uses the Harem jutsu. I mean we have some funny characters and moments in the anime. At the same time, there are so many moments that have literally brought me to tears. Like when Kushina and Naruto meet for the first time. C’mon! I know you were crying too. When Itachi told Sasuke he would love him forever! OMG! When Shikamaru avenged Asuma, I know you got the feels! Whether it is sad moments, celebrations, funny moments, you feel them right along with the characters. 
  • The Tailed Beasts. I honestly wished we got more interactions with all of the ten beasts and their jinchuuriki. I don’t know why but I felt like I needed that. But I am going to settle for one the best things ever: The Jinchuuriki and Tailed Beast Song. Whenever you’re feeling down just put this song on and try to sing along lol. 
BORUTO on Twitter: "Generations of Ino-Shika-Cho 🔥… "
  • Jutsu/Techniques. There are a wide variety of techniques possessed by the characters in the Naruto universe. Some more powerful and difficult to maneuver more than others. All interesting and fitting to each individual. There are so many kinds, it’s hard to keep up but it honestly never gets boring. It is also unique to see some characters grow into their skills, improve their abilities, or even watch jutsu navigate through different generations.

Overall, I love this manga/anime series. I’m happy to see it continuing through Boruto and too see many people, including the younger generations, appreciating it online.

Articles to Read:Naruto: 10 Lessons We Can Learn From Naruto Uzumaki’s Biggest Mistakes

Anime Recommendation: Jujutsu Kaisen.

Watch JUJUTSU KAISEN - Stream TV Shows | HBO Max
reactions on Twitter: "women stepping into their purses in my bag… "

I’m loving this new era of animes. I’m a pretty 80-90’s anime girl, maybe early 2000s. But honestly, these new recent animes though…they giving what they supposed to give.

P.S. I do not own any copyright to the images included.

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Navigating my own anti-Blackness

So I recently read this paper (which I link below) that posed this question:

“Do these results indicate that Africans are more integrative into the white dominant culture than African Americans are?” 

My immediate answer was yes. My experiences and observances so far demonstrated a higher likeness towards Whiteness that begun to significantly change only once my interactions with African Americans grew. In my personal experience, my love (self-love) and advocacy for the Black diaspora, and all its features, would not have existed if I did not fully integrate with African Americans and see their issues as my own.

With my early stages of my development occurring in a White (European) setting, and also within the African community, there was an inclining towards viewing Whiteness as the goal or reference point. In the African community, (more than African Americans) there is a sense of upholding White people as better than Black people, which I believe stems from colonialism and the strive to reach the higher development seen in White western countries.

In addition, in some shape or form, I was being molded or molding myself into becoming a version of a Black African Immigrant that was acceptable to White society. I would study rigorously to show that the only African girl in my class could keep up with her Italian classmates.

There was a part of me that worked tremendously hard because I thought I (singlehandedly)could show that Africans can achieve the same goals set and accomplished by White Europeans.

I saw myself that way until I moved to the United States. My pride in being African was not associated with my Blackness. It was more cultural than racial. I knew, had experienced, and understood racism. But in my effort to fight racism in my own way by proving myself, in classrooms especially, I did not see that racism extended past me, past Africans. There wasn’t just our Black. But then again, I was not quite fully aware of the extent to how deeply anti-Blackness could run within others or ourselves.

When I moved here, I witnessed many (older) Africans try to distance themselves from African Americans: either by moving into a predominantly white neighborhood, telling their children to be wary of African Americans, condemning the lifestyle of African Americans, or failing to acknowledge or understand how systemic racism has impacted African American communities and how it extends to Africans as well.

At the same time, I witnessed African Americans belittle Africans: with derogatory terms, bully kids just for of being from Africa, or appropriate and diminish African lifestyles, without understanding it, or try to deny their African ancestry.

Many were the occurrences that led me to understand how anti-Blackness has been internalized within the African Diaspora to creating and amplifying cultural differences in complex ways.

As writer Nemata Blyden perfectly explains it “… I noticed the so-called divide between “Africans” and “African Americans,” while easily straddling both communities. This allowed me to understand the major differences between them, and to recognize that their historical experiences, while comparable in some respects, were radically different in others. From my vantage point, I also saw similarities that neither group would have recognized in each other.“


Moving here, I came to understand how systemic racism operates to oppress ALL Black people, learn the history and efforts of African Americans to dismantle racial discrimination, and their contributions to society and pop culture, and immense work to uplift pride and love of being Black. This is what allowed me to shift my reference point away from whiteness.

I now know I am deserving of everything because I said so and not because a white society deems me as worthy.

My goal is to not conform, belittle my Blackness in a way, to make white people comfortable. My goal is to exist fully, loudly Black however I may define it to be.

My point is I would not have reached this conclusion if I did not work to expand my interactions with African Americans, in a way that allowed me to share and understand their work to uplift Blackness.

I believe while a lot of work is happening within African communities to uplift ourselves, the fight against White supremacy (in the US particularly) is lacking, often seen as not “our” fight. In a way, it is because many Africans still uphold whiteness as what to strive for, rather than making our own goals.

Articles to Read:

Videos to Watch:

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The grass is not always green

Hearing stories of how people overcame a situation I find myself in always helps me reinforce my motivation and faith. However, these stories often come when that happy ending has been achieved, and while there’s comfort in that, it makes it difficult to know what really goes on in those moments when the happy ending is nowhere in sight.

Image result for where the money reside gif

I know my success is coming. My God is greater than anything on this earth, and what He has meant for me, no one can take away. And that’s on what? Mary had a little lamb.

However, sheesh, sometimes my doubts and fears get to me. So I wanted to write this to acknowledge those moments when the darkness is overcoming the light, those moments that even though I keep going, I feel dead inside. Because those moments deserve the same acknowledgment as the celebration.

I know we live in a society where it is often emphasized to “not let people see you sweat,” to “build/suffer in silence then post only the happy endings.”
But the grass ain’t always green, unfortunately. Sometimes it is a little grey dry, and that is okay.

2020 broke me, lol.

Embarrassed Kid GIF

And I laugh because if you had ever told me that the security, confidence in certain things I worked so hard to build would shamble at the face of this obstacle I’m facing, I would have been like that could never be me. 2020 said “Sis that’s you.” 

My happy ending is nowhere in sight I don’t know if it’s going to happen at all this year either, I don’t know when it’s going to happen. I wake up thinking about it, I go to bed thinking about it. It is like this heavyweight constantly sitting on my chest, and sometimes I find it hard to breathe, so I just sleep. At times I feel like I shouldn’t be living my life, doing anything that doesn’t add to that particular goal, other times I indulge in other aspects of life but mainly as an escape.

Therapy has been teaching me a lot in seeing value in other parts of me and my life and I’m so grateful for that and the progress I’ve been making. My faith that my happy ending will come, (maybe not at my timeline or way but God’s) keeps me going (drives me crazy not knowing but it keeps going). 

But to be honest, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. As a planner, I can’t plan anything  about my life right now because I’m just waiting and that’s driving me insane. It’s no fun and I hate it here. Yet I know one day my happy ending will come. Until then if you’re in the same boat, feeling like this or even worse (as I have and can’t put into words), know that you’re not alone. Keep moving forward. 

PS: An unpopular opinion: this emphasis on suffering in silence, or not letting people see the hard parts of life, this constant toxic positivity, continuously creates shame and loneliness when experiencing hardships in life and also sets an unrealistic reality of how long and non-linear successes are in life.  

Book of the month: My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante. Marvelous book series, also adapted into a tv series on HBO. Worth the watch!

Video to watch: Something to make you laugh, especially if you’re an Attack on Titan fan

P.S. I do not own any copyright to the images included.

Adjoa Cofie1 Comment

Ghana Travel Blog: Top Moments of My Trip

*In no specific order, here are my top favorite moments of this incredible trip*

  • Visiting Cape Coast with my cousins and friend
  • Hugging my grandma for the first time in 14 years
  • Visiting East Legon Botanical Garden 
  • Christmas night at Kikibees 
  • Watching The Princess and Frog with my little cousin and getting to know her 
  • Reconnecting with my first best friend from elementary school  
  • Holding my 4 month old niece 
  • Eating banku and okra stew with my mom and friend while sitting outside under the tree
  • Visiting the NICU at Korle Bu hospital 
  • Watching my mom have fun with her friends of over 20 years and wow they are hilarious & fun to be around!
  • Sitting in the back of a trotro eating fan yogurt ice cream, minding my business and enjoying town views as we ride home 

In addition to my time in Ghana, I truly enjoyed doing this travel blog and videos. Exploring places, whether it be a neighborhood in my city, a different state or traveling internationally, is one of my favorite thing to do, and being able to share these experiences is something I deeply cherish. Thank you for reading. 

Adjoa Cofie5 Comments

Ghana Travel Blog: Traveling Tips & Lessons

Today I’ll be sharing some old and new tips and lessons from my stay in Ghana. By all means live the best life that serves you, but I think it would helpful to keep these in mind. 

  • Number 1: Get that hair braided.
Tasha Power GIF
Me realizing my frontal was not holding up against the heat
Beyonce Islaybeyonce GIF
Me after getting braids/rocking my natural hair

If you like a low maintenance hair routine, or do not want to be worried about your hair from day to day, get your hair braided. I don’t know what it is about braids, but they can truly help withstand the heat. Maybe it’s because the hair doesn’t stick to your face and neck or maybe because you won’t spend time sweating trying to do it in the morning. You can just wake and go. So my best advice, unless you have some really nice lace glue or lots of patience, is to get braids or rock your natural hair. I wouldn’t recommend weave for a long stay. 

  • Number 2: Pack efficiently.

Wherever I travel, I want to interact with the locals, kind of embrace typical daily lives, and in some places that means walking around a lot. Additionally, I like exploring for long hours, so one thing I always travel with is a purse in a bigger size. Not a huge bag, but something big enough to fit everything I would like to carry, use throughout the day, and most importantly allow me to walk holding nothing in my hand. This is essential in particular for safety and to avoid misplacing anything. 

When I head out for the day, I usually have in my purse the following: a little pouch that contains my sunscreen, lip gloss, hand sanitizer, hand lotion, and a small deodorant (Uhm yes, re-apply that too, it’s hot out here and no one wants to smell that) and sometimes even a portable version of my perfume. In the rest of the bag I have an additional mask, a portable charger, my phone, my wallet, sunglasses, and sometimes a book when it’s a long drive.

  • Number 3: Be aware of “Respectability Politics” 

I’m a firm believer in doing whatever you want (that’s not harmful to others) to feel good about yourself, including your appearance. It utterly none of anyone’s business but yourself. (I will always be appalled by people’s audacity to wake up and comment on others people physical appearance- who asked you!) 

But one thing about some (older) Africans: they are going to state what’s on their mind. One friend told me “because of something (ie tattoos, piercings, length of your attire, anklets) people will feel like they can just approach you anyhow. What they don’t need to be saying, they will say.”

I think it’s important to also take into consideration the culture and environment you travel to, understand that there is a time and place for everything, and find a way to blend your personality with the culture if you can afford or care to.

For example, this stay was very family-oriented for me so certain things I would wear visiting my aunt’s hometown, would not be the same as something I would wear out with a girlfriend. Or if I’m going around town during the day (with someone who is not my mother) my outfit will be a little more conservative.

Annoyed Irritated GIF
My face
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His face

I remember being in this trotro (bus), and the man sitting next to me kept staring at my tattoo, then at my face. Then he would look at the tattoo again then at my face. The entire time he was riding. Whatever he was thinking, was not respectful.

  • Number 4: Pray not to be stuck in traffic. 

Traffic is on another level in Ghana and it’s definitely took some adjustment to get used to it. Coming to Accra in December, unless you can fly, you will get stuck in traffic at some point. Sometimes you spend more time in traffic than at your actual destination. 

I did not drive this time because it does take some skill to tackle the traffic in some Accra areas. Additionally, some roads are not the best and can be harmful to your car if not careful. So I just rather not drive.

Drive Fast GIF
It really be like this sometimes.

However when there’s no traffic and you’re on a highway, driving seems fairly easy going. We have a long way to go and definitely need to improve the infrastructure in Ghana. It’s the inconsistency for me. Some areas are beautifully developed, while others you will cry for your car.

In addition to driving yourself, other forms of transportations include Uber or Bolt, local taxis and trotro (which would be a corresponding bus as public transportation). Ubers/bolt are cheaper than taxis, but if you can afford to support the locals, then take a taxis. Most Uber drivers have stated that they are underpaid, they are not even shown how much the ride is, or don’t get paid immediately. And also just do be aware that sometimes your destination may not have ubers there when ready for a return.

Like everywhere else, the trotros are the cheapest (but longest) options. Plus, I enjoy taking public transportation when I travel because I get to see a lot of places and interact with people. During the height of the pandemic in Ghana, they did place restrictions on how many can fit into one trotro to about 8 people per car, versus the usually about 15 people. Tip: sitting in front gives you a bit more room to move. Another form of transportation are the motorcycles but those are very dangerous so I’m not even going to discuss them. 

  • Number 5: Figure out what’s the best way to get access to your money.
Denzel Washington Pissed GIF
Honestly, y’all I was so mad at myself for forgetting something I use on a regular basis. I blame the change in environment.

Don’t be like me and forget your pin to your debit card while you are traveling. Don’t be like me and think Discover works everywhere (that international is more like western).

Apart from that they are ATMs around you can get money out of when needed. Pay attention to the rates and your own bank charges for international transactions. In addition, you can use your card in plenty of stores, as long as you remember your pin.

Trust Only Yourself Bonnie Henna GIF

Be like me and download sendwave. This is the best app I have come across so far. The rates are great, easy transfers, and no extra or transactions fees by your bank. However, you do need to transfer it to another person (who has a registered number), so choose someone you trust and go with them when they take out the money.

  • Number 6: Effort to learn the language goes a long way.
Embarrassed Kid GIF
Me laughing along and lowkey hurt they were laughing at my efforts

My parents refuse to speak anything but Twi to my siblings and I. No matter what country we found ourselves in, trust that my parents will allow speak Twi. At one point, my dad would not even respond if we didn’t speak Twi back. Well now I am very grateful for that because my Twi is still very good. But even with that I was still made fun of for the way I would say some words.

Nonetheless, many of my family were really proud that I still spoke Twi and it made my life much easier. It made it easier to connect with my family, less likely to be taken advantage of (sometimes) when buying something. I was kind of disappointed that I did not know the other dialects my family spoke. But knowing some everyday words like thank you, greetings, making an effort can go a long way.

Posts to Read: Check out & support my favorite travel blog by Ericka Lyn. She has been to so many places and has great “Tips & Tricks”

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Ghana Travel Blog: Shadowing in Science

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During my trip I got this wonderful opportunity to visit and shadow some physician-scientists at the University of Ghana and Korle Bu Teaching Hospital. I know nerddddd but hey I network wherever I can. 

Please note that I will refrain from sharing specific details about my shadowing experience. Even if it might not be the case, I find it crucial not to invade a patient’s privacy more than necessary (being there to shadow).
Nonetheless, I will comment on some general healthcare system aspects of the country that I have learned.

Students are the same everywhere, and there is a kind of comfort and solidarity in seeing that. I loved seeing so many women in a range of healthcare and STEM positions. The definition of teamwork, everything requiring a collective effort, could not be more valid in the settings I shadowed.

Here are some aspects of the collective effort I truly admired and enjoyed.

The atmosphere in a lab (which I visited at the Infectious Disease department at the University of Ghana) is much less lonesome. Usually, in the U.S., one typically works on their project on their own. You may share a space with someone, require a technician to assist you, speak to your PI, but you are pretty by yourself doing your work. However, in Ghana, students, technicians, postdocs tend to work in a shared workspace, exchanging ideas, helping each other, and actively keeping each other company. It feels welcoming and less like you are on your own. Which sometimes tends to be the atmosphere in an individualistic society like the States.

The environment I observed at the lab in Ghana also makes it less intimidating to approach someone (even in a higher position) with questions or ask for assistance. I honestly wanted to enroll immediately. It felt like an environment that promoted productivity without having you ignore socializing with colleagues until lunchtime or happy hour.
Again it may vary in some cases, but this was my personal experience.

Another collective aspect I noticed at the hospital (particularly in the emergency room) that caught my attention was the necessary involvement of a family member or friend when a patient visits the hospital.

Due to a rather complicated system, I may say, a patient cannot obtain care without someone being there to help to retrieve scans, complete paperwork, and pay for services (each done in separate parts of the hospital). An individual can not do all of that while in a sickbed, so they need someone to help them.

It was quite interesting to witness particularly, compared to the “self-supporting” time one can have at a hospital in the States. I remember my own experience in the ER: I did not even tell my parents until the next day when I came home. Meanwhile, in the Korle Bu ER, every patient had someone with them.

Care administered does not happen all at once, obviously, so the fact that you need a friend or family member’s help, you complete the required paperwork, payments, and other processes before care can proceed, in some instances, can delay things. Nonetheless, with the current system, it is essential and comforting for a patient.

I have been curious about medicine and the healthcare system since I was a child, and it was great to learn about such a system in my homeland, no matter how short the experience was. This time provided me with an insight into how things work, the life of physicians and students, and the most prevalent health issues people encounter.
Hopefully, one day I can work alongside these phenomenal healthcare workers and contribute to lessening health issues for many.

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Ghana Travel Blog: Patriarchy, Who Asked For It?

This post is going to contain a lot of unpopular opinions and it’s not meant to convince or persuade anyone to let go of certain views. This is just me expressing how some aspects within the culture that make me…cringe a little.

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First, let me say I find it very shocking how many people I met during my travel that were concerned with the fact that I did not have marriage or kids on my mind. Especially at my “big age”. I’m 23, and apparently I’m closing in on my due date and time is running out. I tend to just smile at these unwanted opinions people felt the need to express out loud, because it’s like why y’all in my business? I’m not even in my business when it come to that. 

Jokes aside, I honestly don’t care about this at all. What mainly concerned me was the fact that there are still many young girls (younger than me) in some parts of Ghana and many many other countries who are expected to be married and have children at age that’s not safe…mentally or physically. I have the privilege to have safe options in my life, a privilege to choose to not be bothered by these social expectations. I often wonder if my attitude would be the same if living in a place where such expectations were a rule or a means for survival. 

I’m not going to lie, I am biased when it comes to marriage since I do have a more cynical view of it. But, I am trying to expand my view into a more realistic and holistic one. Nonetheless, certain gender roles expectations and characteristics of it…do not always make marriage an attractive or fair lifestyle for women. 

First of all, don’t take any of these African men hitting on you and offering marriage seriously, I beg. If he really wants you he would pay your bills first.

Destiny Child Destinys GIF

Jk …

….but not really.

My issue is what is really being offered? Hear me out.

Most of these men quick to “propose” are often the same to have quite some misogynistic views. Many are particularly bothered when a woman is not considering marriage (with a man). It’s like how dare you try to think you can make it without a man, how dare you think a man is an option! 

For example, one night during my stay, sitting outside, enjoying the cool evening breeze in Accra, a conversation sparked around this topic with the guys and I was told by some that I wasn’t a real woman because I didn’t agree with certain views and wasn’t willing to accept a certain life as a woman. Views such as:

  • A wife who doesn’t serve her husband everyday is not a real woman. Serving means cooking, cleaning, you know the usual.  
  • A husband can not do certain things (anything to do with household chores, that the woman is expected to do, rain or shine, after 8 hour job or not) solely because he’s a man.  
  • Men are to control the wife because women don’t know how to take care of business… (For example a woman is supposed to hand her entire paycheck to the man, not because we are bringing money together as a couple to equally manage but just because women just can’t handle money)
B.s. GIF
I said I guess I’m not a woman and that angered them even more, tragic.
Nonsense GIF

However, when my life is full of brilliant, tenacious women who handle things exceptionally (on their own), it’s difficult to see men as a need rather than a option, a want. When my life is full of men who don’t depend on these toxic views for their masculinity, to define their manhood, it is difficult to see them as nothing but kwasiasem.

 

If this is the marriage they are so quick to offer, my already skeptical mind is definitely not considering them at all. 

Also, don’t get me started on the fact that everytime I would be out with a guy, people would refer questions (even ones concerning me or both) to him rather than me…ugh I don’t recall wearing my invisible cloth.  

Honestly why is Patriarchy a thing at all? 

P.S. Gentlemen, if the shoe doesn’t fit…no need to be fake hurt.

On a more important note: Find out more on Global Child Marriage on UNICEF

Adjoa CofieLeave a comment

Ghana Travel Blog: Reading While Traveling

Whenever I travel, I always have multiple books with me to read. It helps pass time at the airport while waiting to board, a great alternative for entertainment in case of a phone dying or a lack of internet connection, or during a long car trip. I mostly like the idea that as my body travels to new different places, my mind also travels to different worlds through books. During my trip to Ghana I finally finished up “The Handmaid’s Tale” and read “The Peacock Emporium”. Enjoy the reviews for each below!

  • The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood

Uhmmm…so no. I don’t know how I feel about this book. I’m not sure if it’s because I am already watching the show but I have watched something before reading the book and I have always ended up preferring the original work rather than the visual. This time that wasn’t the case at all. It was a hard read in the sense that I wasn’t intrigued by it. If I had only read the book, I wouldn’t have been interested in the show.

It is a well written book. Unexpectedly funny at times, the whit of the main character is definitely what makes the book interesting. Again I might be biased in this review due to exposure to the Hulu series based on the book. Yet I do have to say that the novel lacked something. Depth.

It gives little glimpse of the characters, and I do appreciate the subtle and grey transitions between the present and the past, however you are left starving. Not the good kind where you are craving more. But the one that leads to disinterest. In a way I had to force myself to pick up the book to read. When I stopped, I didn’t think about it. I guess that’s why it took me so long to finish.

I have purchased the recently published sequel, but I don’t know if it’s worth reading. Knowing myself, I probably will because I feel unfinished with this story and I don’t like not completing things. However if you are new to the Handmaid’s tale I would say just watch the series on Hulu.

Why did I decide to read the book when I was already watching the series you may ask?

Well…in my experience the book has always been better than the movie. Additionally with the sequel published and no idea of when a new season of the show will resume due to COVID-19, I decided to read it. I did not want to start with “The Testaments” (the sequel) because I didn’t know where the story was going to pick up based on either the book or show.

Well that’s all for this review. Hope my next read is better!

  • The Peacock Emporium by Jojo Moyes

I’m not sure I could understand or relate to main character, Suzanna. She was particularly complicated, and one can’t exactly pin point what is rendering her so unhappy or what exactly she wants to be happy. I don’t think she herself knew, or maybe she did but felt afraid to make it a reality.

Nonetheless, it pleases me to see a character written with such depth because people are complicated, life is complicated and sometimes one can’t really know why or how to fix it.

A part of me (that I have bene working on through therapy) wanted the storyline to immediately find a way to fix her unhappiness. Usually characters would be on a journey to reach that “happily ever after”, but it was quite refreshing to see that wasn’t the case for Suzanna. And that’s very true to life. Sometimes shit is fucked up, you’re fucked up and there’s nothing you can or want to do.

I think that’s where her family was doing wrong as well, always trying to do something or make her do something to fix her unhappiness.

Sometimes you just need to be there that’s it.

I think the best part of this book was that it allowed Suzanna to be a complicated character in a way that made everyone (characters and readers) uncomfortable and at least for me, questioning why such discomfort takes place when life is not so perfect.

Definitely would recommend.

Getting to hangout with my grandma after 14 years was definitely worth the 7 hour drive to the Volta Region, Ghana.
Kaneshie Market, Accra

Adjoa CofieLeave a comment

Ghana Travel Blog: Insight To Ghanaian Funerals And Families

It is sad that this trip was brought about by a death in the family. However, Ghanaians have an especially extraordinary way to not only mourn the dead but celebrate their lives.  

Ghanaian funerals are usually held on Saturdays and Sundays. Saturdays are for viewing of the body and the burial service. Sunday is the thanksgiving service. Other days like Friday, is the “lying in state” when the body is transported and prepared for viewing. Monday and Tuesday, the children of the deceased meet with the elders for discussion matters unbeknownst to me. This is at least the simplest way my mom could explain to me. Feel free to read the following for more understanding and perspectives on Ghanaian funeral traditions.  

That's so Raven | That's so raven, Raven symone, Raven

This is the first time I have truly come to meet a lot of family members on my mother’s side. It’s weird because many would approach me asking if I remembered them and I, unfortunately, did not. Yet, there were faces that I had completely forgotten about but I would somehow instantly recognized when I saw them. It felt like when Raven would have those sudden visions!

There were names I remembered but couldn’t attach a face to and vice versa. Nonetheless, the welcome I received was extraordinary. I do have to say being able to speak the language (Twi) truly helped me assimilate and feel included.

Among the many eye-opening moments, was discovering that I had 29 cousins (just on my mother’s side). Meeting my cousins was exciting and overwhelming, I was introduced to many, and others I recognized only due to the identical cloth we all wore. There were moments where I wished I had grown here to have those closer relationships, many of them seem to have with one another. 

I also came to realize how common blended families are in our community. All my siblings and I (and that’s only three of us) share the same parents, and that has often given me a sense of a tight-knit small family and misunderstanding that such was a common fate among many. But I got to see how truly extended families are, my own extended family is truly extended. An unexpectedly pleasant surprise. Will I get to know all of them? No. But I do intend to connect and build a rapport with some of them. Plus one of my great-nephews is hilarious! And that’s a plus.